Net gains

Symposium isn’t a word that trips off the tongue. It sounds impossibly proper, serious and really quite grand. When asked by Bridges Self Management to help out at their 7th Annual Symposium at St George's hospital in London I felt out of my depth just reading the email. In an attempt to at least look like I was somehow in the loop, I looked up ‘symposium’ in the dictionary. It is a compound word that dates back to ancient Greece and translates roughly as a ‘drinking party’. A symposium was a bunch of mates getting together for the sole purpose of getting drunk and talking endlessly. That’s more like it. What could possibly go wrong?

What went wrong is that I forgot to mention several key points. Drink had nothing to do with it, and neither was the panic that struck when I arrived in the designated conference room in St George’s at the sight of three, yes THREE screens from which our presentation was to be projected. The main purpose of my involvement was to supply a repeat performance from a 2015 conference in which physiotherapist and Bridges trainer Katie Campion interviews me about how I coped after discharge from hospital following a heamorrhagic stroke. We talk about goal setting and I seize the opportunity to make plentiful reference to football and the team I support, Liverpool.

In outward appearance, our presentation resembles the work of a second-rate comedy duo. We feed each other lines, but they are not always the right ones. I’m always aware of undermining Katie’s proper professional status with my bad jokes, and sometimes the result is confusion. So, in the part where we talk about my understanding of the word 'goal’, I had intended to shoot a line about the importance in football of coaches and captains. I missed the shot. And in the part where I answered questions about devising small steps to big goals, I should have mentioned the importance of visualisation. Again, I fluffed it and the chance went begging.

It wasn't all bad, though. Katie did manage to grab victory from the jaws of defeat while we were on the topic of my early goals when still in hospital. In this section I typically talk about the desire to complete bathroom activities independently. I then move on to describing my attempts at the 'transfer’. This will be familiar to stroke nurses worldwide and involves getting a patient to move themselves safely from wheelchair to bed, and vice versa. At the time I was desperate to master this manoeuvre because being able to snoop around and then return to bed for a snooze was, for me, the very essence of being alive.

Maybe I was a bit too desperate because my early attempts involved hurling myself from a sitting position on the bed in the general direction of the wheelchair seat. The reverse process was not much prettier and, as I outlined this technique to the rapt symposium audience, Katie quite sensibly interjected, “Wasn’t all that hurling a bit risky?” This remark opened a can of worms on the subject of risk, and to what extent patients should be entitled, encouraged even, to explore the everyday fringes of jeopardy. It is a big, important subject, and relevant not only for stroke patients but for anyone living with a long-term condition. Is not the freedom to make mistakes a universal human entitlement? Discuss. Needless to say, we barely scratched the surfaces of it, but I am glad the subject of risk had put in an appearance as Katie and I tumbled our way innocently towards some kind of conclusion to our presentation.

So, as I sat down afterwards, the word PHEW shot to mind. I had barely paid any attention to the symposium’s previous speakers. All I can remember is that two experts from Lewisham CCG, Damian and Angelika, proposed what seemed to me a perfectly valid practical distinction between self-care and self-management, illustrated using a projected Venn-style diagram that looked like a hard-boiled egg. I was pleased to note that the yolk was not centred but irritatingly offset, just like mine are when I make boiled eggs. Another pair, Heide and Tino, ran a video of a lovely chatty couple who were calling for a bit more joined-up thinking from practitioners and clinicians in regard to service users.

Lisa Kidd, a leading goal-scorer for nursing and Scotland, followed our presentation, and made some telling points about how things actually happen on the ward. I am often guilty of gushing praise at the doctors, nurses and therapists who have all contributed to my stroke recovery, to which they most commonly reply, “Thank you, but I was just doing my job”. My response is always the same: “I know, but you choose the way you do your job, so please accept my thanks for that.” I was extremely grateful in this respect to be able to forge good communication with all those involved in my progress after stroke. It is an experience and a lesson I hope I will never forget.